On 7/31/08 I received a call from the Cleveland Clinic letting me know that I needed to come in for a redo mammogram and ultrasound of my left breast. "focal asymmetry at 6:00, left breast" The nurse explained that recalls are very common and only a small percentage result in additional testing. That night I did a self examination, taking notice of a slight depression in my breast that was evident when I raised my arm. Is this what all of the fuss was about? How long has this been here? I did notice it before, but when? My best guess was at the most, a couple of months. I scheduled my retake for Wednesday, 8/6/08.
The next day, on 8/1/08, my internal medicine physician, Dr. Hanna, examined me and said that when I go for the redo, even if I am told that the mammogram and ultrasound are insignificant, I should not leave without scheduling an appointment with a surgeon. The surgeon would require an MRI, which is state of the art for breast cancer detection. She gave me a referral; she said the concern with a depression in the breast (as opposed to an obvious lump) is that something can be pulling from inside. Dr. Hanna reassured me that they are being extremely cautious.
On 8/6/08 I went to the mammogram retesting. I walked in the mammogram room and just like on TV there was an x-ray of my boob hanging up there , and yes- I could see what the heck they were concerned about. A big black dot in a sea of grey. Next came an ultrasound to rule out a cyst; the physician, Dr. Rice, confirmed I had "an area of concern". She said before I let my mind race, she wanted me to know that it was "very small and curable." After giving me local anesthetic she did three biopsies with a contraption that looked and acted much like a staple gun. She was very kind and sweet and said she would call me "either way" on Friday or by the latest Monday. Somehow, I got the feeling that she wasn't being nice to me for nuthin'. I was being prepared for a diagnosis of breast cancer.
On 8/8/08 I got the call from Dr. Rice at work. We spoke several minutes, but the gist of her call is this: "The biopsy results do show that you have breast cancer. I am so sorry to have to tell you this. At this point we still have more questions than answers. We don't know the type or the stage, which will ultimately determine your treatment. Next step: MRI scheduled for Tuesday 8/12/08; they will look at both breasts and blood flow and something about lymph nodes. On Friday 8/15/08 I have an appointment with a surgeon, Dr. Deitz, who will have at her disposal all test results and will be able to tell me type of cancer and extent. Barring any surprises on the MRI, Dr. Rice fully expects that I would be a good candidate for a lumpectomy and radiation. If the tumor approaches a particular size (I think she said 10mm) they will want to do a mastectomy. If it is estrogen feeding, they will also offer me Tamoxifen.
So, please keep me in your prayers that the cancer is small and contained. And forgive (or just don't read) my attempt at poetry. But when I came home Wednesday after the biopsy those were my thoughts. Thank you to everybody who has been so kind and has offered a prayer, a tear, or a laugh with me. Your love confirms me.
3 comments:
wonderful poetry, Berta....'tis a gift to be able to snatch the swirling thoughts in your mind and put them on paper. is it Friday yet?
Hi Roberta,
Thanks so much for the chronology. I got a voice message from Ruth yesterday and she asked if I could try calling Pat and Kevin to fill them in. Well, I called them last night but even though Ruth gave me all the details...I had to tell the Bro's that I didn't know much because after Ruth said you had breast cancer my mind started to wonder and I couldn't remember much! I did tell them you had a consultation sometime this week and would know more so about all I can do is echo Agnes and say "is it Friday yet?"
I should also take this time to pass along that Laurel, Sean, and Caitlin want you to know that their prayers are out there flying around with everyone elses. We love you and are looking forward to the good news that we're sure to hear on Friday.
By the way, I hope I'm not intruding on the sister site. Does it count that I always considered myself a Mama's boy?
John.
Glad you liked the poems, Agnes.
Its not Friday yet but it is getting awfully darn close! I am feeling better and better that the news I will get will be good. If they saw anything too scary on the MRI yesterday they wouldn't have let me leave the hospital, right?
John, there was a really lovely message from Laurel on my phone when got home tonight. I really appreciate the kind thoughts and prayers. Please tell her and the kids when you talk to them next.
I can already see the bright side to this, even if I haven't fully embraced the ugly side. Everybody is telling me how much they love me! And ya know that can't be bad.
And you are more than welcome on the sister's blog. I did run my idea of posting on "Annie's girls" by Ruth and Sheilagh. This forum was already intended to discuss health, so it seemed appropriate. With all of the people in our family it also is very efficient.
I decided to post the chronology because I know exactly how I feel when I get news like this...I start floating...and a lot of the info sounds like blah blah blah and then when I want to remember what the person said, I can't, then I don't want to ask because they will think i didn't care enough to listen then...well you know!
Love ya both!
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